heh .. an entry because i'm sad. usually when i cry... i make sounds .. that make it seem like i'm laughing .. but .. noowww. i am crying without sounds at all. HOW COOL IS THAT. my mommy scolded me yesterdayy ... just before i went to sleep =.=' how sucky.. and i woke up. and she scolded me again .. she just went out .. and she called me ... TO SCOLD ME.. damn. she has too much free time ... well anyway.. words can make a person cry. usually i am the one making somebody cry.. but when my parents scold me.. gosh.. their words can kill.. sigh** and i don't think my mom will let me go out today.. aih.. really wanted to go out today with the drama people... my eyes are all red and puffyy...

this is such a depressing post :D hahahah.. just like old times. well anyway... i dont like being depressed . its very tiring =.=' not to mention stupid.. like i have nothing good in my life.. well, i dont, actually.. but stillllll..

the only thing i'm happy about is that my mommmy didnt take my phone away... or my computer.. or ..the tv.. but i'm sure its just a matter of time before she does.

heh. i am talking to my dog.. >< he's so sweeeeet.

DAMN . I SOUND LIKE SOME MAD RETARD. ahhahahahhhahahaa..

well, thats what happens when I AM DEPRESSED. usually i'd cut myself .. but .but. but i dont' want the pain. damn pain lar ... it's like, not worth it. AND THE SCARSSSS. well.. not that there are any anymore. but thats only because i put heaps and heaps of cream.. and i pealed the dry skin off >:} HHHAHAAHAA.

unless i cut my leg lar =.=' which is dumb. i've tried it before.. my thighs.. :( my lovely white pale big fat thighs.. no one can seem them so its okay. HAHHAHA.

i don't wanna lock myself in the room like last time.. run out of resources damn fast. like food.. water.. AND SOME MORE WHEN I NEED TO POOOOOOOOO. see, i only poo in my mommy's toilet.. because it's very pretty and it helps my shit come out faster. HAHAHAHHAHHA. xD well anyway.. besides that.. my rooom no tv. AND, there is no balcony to climb out of.. so if i try climbing out, i will die :D

and i don't wanna run away like last time.. taxi fair damn expensive. some more my mommy knows where i usually go. unless i find some place new :) but.. nahh.. troublesome lar..

sigh*** i want to do something.. :( i want to make my mommy cry the way she made me cry.

i don't want to do anything that will hurt my health.. not again lar. damn boring you know same old thing. must be creative a bit .. and like, think of new dumb things to do.. not so predictable. i want to go ou today.. SO MAYBE I WILL. i will sit taxi ...

nah.. scared lar.. HAHHHAHAH.

aiya.. i wil think of something that will make her cry. because.. no one makes me cry and does not cry in return.

HAHHAHHAHAHHHA.

SIM = BIGGEST FUCK EVER.

seriouslyyy.. i had a talk with joey just now..and oh my fucking god.. it got me so damn fired uppp. all those things sim made up . all that shit that happened. its like, omg laaa .. WAS I BLIND??? WAS I MADD? WAS IT BOTH?? .. goshhhh... i feel like doing something bitchy..but what can i doo?!?!? almost nothing? ... pfft! SO SUCKY. i feel like going into his account and sending weird mails to people. but that's so dumb.. and i think he changed his password anyway....

grrrrr..I HATE HATE HATE HATE HIS FRIENDSTER PROFILE.... ARGHHH.. wtf laa kay.. he's a big fuck for not even editing it... I DON'T WANNA BE FOREVER KNOWN AS HIS GIRLFRIEND... THAT'S SO INSULTING AND DEGRADING...

and what is with his disgusting tummyy?? TELL ME!! HE HAS THE UGLIEST BODY EVER... HE HAS THE UGLIEST FACE EVER.. HE HAS THE UGLIEST HAIR EVER... he is basically downright uglyyy :) i mean come on laa kayy..

sometimes i wish he'd just drop deadddd.. but aiyo.. thats so bad right???

I DONT CARE. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IN FACT.. I HATE HIM. AND I SWEAR.. I WILL DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TO RUIN HIM. HONESTLY!! YOU JUST WAIT AND SEEE..  I WILLL!!!!!

ok.. that was so weirddd :D well i dont hate him as much as i hate myself.. because I'M THE EVEN BIGGER FUCK THAN HE IS COS I ACTUALLY LIKED A FUCK FACE FUCKED UP FUCK LIKE HIM..omg..

he is like a cow. as in, he loooks like one. wel, he talks like one too. (: lalalalalalalalala.

SIM IS A BIG FUCK. LALALA. ITS TRUE. gosh.. i could go on and on and on ..but ..bt..but.. im too lazyy ahhahahhhaa

any girl who has liked him before really is dumb laa.a.. yah. including me.. i damn dumbb... aih.....

sim the big fuck! i hope he reads this and gets all gay and goes bitching to someone about me.. and then!! he'll confront me online and tell me how mean and bitchy and diu i am.. :D hahaha. i can't wait!! gonna be so so so fun! cos if his friends can't stand up to him adn tell him off.. THEN I WLL..cos trust me.. i have been waiting a loooong time to do so.. goshh

i hope he gets mad and confronts me online! let's all prayyyy!!!!!! tehehhehheheeh....

i am so bored. i can't believe i'm posting here.

please go www.xanga.com/losergirl98

i've decided to stop blogging on this site. please click here to see my new blog. i've switched. or rather, created a new site based on personal reasons. i'm not going to shut down this site, and i'll just let it be. don't do anything stupid to it. please, thanks.

it's so funny how i liked you and you liked me and how we suddenly just stopped talking. how we fell again for our past loves and just didnt bother about each other. but i guess that was the beautiful part, wasn't it? we didn't want to commit to anything. we wanted everything to be easy. we both had been hurt by love once before, and was trying our best not to get hurt at all now. but i guess we were wrong. because ignoring each other just made us hurt even more. and i thought it was only me. so i didn't say a thing, but i was thinking about you everyday for weeks. then all of a sudden.. you tell me and i tell you. and we realize all over again that we do. its so funny, because no matter how much we try to stop, we just can't. and that's beautiful, isn't it? we talk about the most pointless things in the world, but to us, it means so much.

you've made me fallen in love, all over again.